What I Really Long For
Living only for material things is . . . boring.
Look at this picture. I don’t know exactly what it is, but inside me I remember Sweden and a marvelous Swedish sculptor who works with stones defying the gravity law. Most probably he was a Viking in a previous embodiment and now remembers the Runes — cut stones with symbols that are supposed to be the Viking letters. Souvenirs inside my brain.
Today has been a difficult day for me. I was feeling all the time that what I am doing is useless. Living in this world with worries about eating, paying rent, cleaning an apartment, etc. -that is, physical situations-, it is something I hate. If I had to write from the bottom of my heart, I would say: “I only long for development in every aspect of my life”.
Do not think I couldn’t develop myself in many aspects. I did for a long, long time. I never worked more than a part-time so I could have time for my spiritual evolution -travels and books. However, I need to work harder now after the cv19, but I would like to have more financial freedom to work only part-time and read all the spiritual books I want to read.
Spiritual development is all I want. To dedicate myself to get more esoteric knowledge, to do more spiritual work, more meditation, etc. This world is very complicated now and the best way to help it is with spiritual work. However, I feel blocked in the physical world dealing with material things. What for? All of them are going to remain here when I depart.
I want to work on myself, consume my mistakes, learn new spiritual skills, meditate deeply in my Divine Self. It is my divine side speaking but buried in a physical body. So, I complain. Terribly.
This is the big reason I can not understand why many people only think about money and material properties. That is, greed. And to get their material goals, they don’t mind to harm others, thus creating a bad karma for some years to come or for next step of evolution.
Life, always very intelligent, allows them to go and go, until . . . Ah!! I remember a nice proverb: “If you give a heifer a rope, it will end up hanging itself with it.” Yes, Napoleon, this is what happened to you. I also remember what Steve Jobs said when he was dying.
It is when they realize they have only empty hands.
Maybe I have responsibilities with this world and what I am doing is necessary for me and others. Of course I chose to be here at this time when an unbelievable transformation in this planet is taking place. So, I am learning something important for me so I have no other way than trying to do my best.
Actually I am doing my best, albeit some days are difficult when I have to be focused only in material, physical things. I long for liberation.
